Three Chords And The Truth - Three Things That Changed Bono's Life

I'm 'getting on my boots' for the U2 360 tour in Edmonton on June 1. It’s my third U2 concert in three different decades. I have seen them grow from a fledgling group that couldn’t fill the small Queen Elizabeth Playhouse in Vancouver, to a world-renowned foursome that can sellout massive stadiums in minutes.

The first time I listened to U2, I couldn’t stand them. It was 1981 and I was a 20-year-old university student who liked progressive rock bands like Yes, ELP and Jethro Tull. I applauded musicians that were at the top of their league. This “New Wave” music didn’t do much for me.

The lead singer was called “Bono Vox” which meant “good voice,” but he needed to sing with the reverb at full to make his voice palatable. The only talented member of the foursome was their guitarist, The Edge. He created a whole new sonic sound with his guitars that had me entranced.

But I had created stringent rules for listening to music. Every album had to have five complete listens before I trashed it, so I took U2’s first album, Boy, and played it on my record player for the next few days. Their songs had depth and soul I hadn't noticed the first time through. I couldn’t get them out of my head. I soon found myself joining the rapidly growing ranks of U2 minions. I was hooked.

When their second album, October, came out, I painstakingly wrote out all the lyrics. It was while listening to Tomorrow over and over again, that I realized something horrific had happened to Bono.

His Mother's Death

The spellbinding lyrics and music in Tomorrow tells the story of a frightened boy being forced to go to a funeral. He just couldn't face the loss of his mother.

Bono's mother was at her father's funeral when she fainted. Or so her 15-year-old son was told. She had really suffered a brain hemorrhage and died a few days later. This left Bono without the mother who had given him such love and filled his world with life. After she died his father and older brother tried to make their house a home, but Bono often said he was surprised they didn’t kill each other. He credits his mother’s death with driving him to an understanding of Christianity. This was the first change that would set the stage for the rest of his life.

Bono says, “...in this despair, I did pray to God. And I discovered that, even sometimes in the silence, God does answer. The answer may not be the one you want to hear but there’s always an answer, if you are serious, if you are ready to let go.”

U2 Begins

Then came that fateful day at Mount Temple School when Bono responded to a note placed by 14-year-old Larry Mullen saying, "Drummer seeks musicians to form band."

Larry himself says, "I just thought of it as a bit of fun, it was never anything else. No big ideas. No expectations, really."

Larry was taking drum lessons and could actually play the drums, well, a bit anyway. Dave (Edge) Evans brought his yellow Flying V guitar. Adam Clayton just looked cool with his Afghan coat and blond afro. He couldn't play the bass but he did own one and that meant he was in the band. And Bono...well...Larry says, “It was the Larry Mullen Band for about 10 minutes, so as not to hurt my feelings. It was also my kitchen. Then Bono came in and that was the end of that. He blew any chance I had of being in charge.”

Edge says, "Bono didn't even have a guitar but he seemed to think he was the lead guitarist." Larry concurs, "It was obvious from the beginning that Bono was going to be the singer, not because of his great voice but because he didn't have a guitar...what else was he going to do?"

All the band members described themselves as awful and I have some of their first 45’s to prove it!

Live Aid

The third event that changed Bono’s life started at Live Aid in 1985. They were playing on London’s Wembley Stadium, when Bono noticed a girl being crushed by the crowd. Bono jumped off the stage and, with the help of the security people, pulled her out and then danced with her. The song they were playing, Bad, went on for 14 minutes – it is the moment in U2 history that established them as a pre-eminent live group.

African Enigma

Live Aid raised nearly $284 million for famine relief in Africa. It sounds like an enormous success but when Bono heard that South Africa’s foreign debt rose to $23.5 billion in 1985, this money seemed insignificant.

Soon after Live Aid, the humanitarian agency World Vision asked Bono if he and his wife, Ali, would like to come to Ethiopia as volunteers and see the famine for themselves. “We left for an adventure that would change our lives,” Bono says.

For six weeks they worked in an orphanage in Wello, Ethiopia. “You’d wake up in the morning and the mist would be lifting. You’d walk out of your tent and you’d count the bodies of dead and abandoned children," Bono says. "It’s a truly shocking sight to see thousands and thousands of people in rags, who’ve walked all night to come to our feeding station, only to stand outside and not be let in, and watch the other Ethiopians eating their food and yet have no malice...I was really humbled by them.”

One day a father placed his son in Bono’s arms. The father said, “You can afford to take this boy. You can look after him. If you don’t take him he will surely die.”

Bono couldn’t take him and looked the father in the eyes, telling him that. But that moment of anguish stayed in his heart. “In a certain sense, I have always taken that boy with me,” Bono says referring to all the work he does to help fight AIDS, provide lowered trade embargos and Drop the Debt in Africa.

Bono’s humanitarian and advocacy work on behalf of the African continent has seen him nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize three times and awarded Knighthood in Britain.

During U2 tours he tirelessly meets with presidents, prime ministers, and any other world leader that will listen to his plea for aid to Africans.

"Most of the time I would come back from those meetings, conferences, marches or rallies and arrive on the stage two feet taller," says the diminutive Irishman. "I'm floating because of what could become of all this. And I feel God's blessing on it. You can't out-give God, I've noticed. I feel like I've been carried by people's prayers."

Bono explains he was always seeking the Lord's blessing on the things he was doing - his music, his family, his 'big ideas.' Then he met this 'wise man' who said, "Stop asking God to bless what you are doing. Get involved in what God's doing because it's already blessed."

This encouraged Bono to pursue his work on behalf of the people of Africa. "God is always with the poor," Bono says. "That is what He is doing. That's what He's calling us to do."

Philatelic Fun - Lightly Unhinged

As some of you know, my husband, Peter is a philatelist (among other things). Yeah, I can hear you saying, “What the heck is a philatelist?” According to Webster’s, it’s “a specialist in philately.” Don’t you love dictionaries? The second definition is more clear ¾ “one who collects or studies stamps.”

Peter has loved collecting stamps since he was a boy and has become an avid philatelist in recent years. He’s the Vice President of the Calgary Philatelic Society and a columnist for Canadian Stamp News.

What’s unique about Peter’s columns is that they are humorous. Now, philatelists aren’t known to be punsters or practical jokers, I mean, stamps are serious business. Peter is trying to inject a little fun into the olde philatelly. If you think stamps are boring, read this.

Printed in Canadian Stamp News,

April 26-May 9, 2011

Volume 35 - Number 26

Guest Post ¾ Peter Fleck

It was never my intention to use this column for public advocacy, to stand on a soapbox, or promote some pet cause.

But we’re looking at an injustice that has gone on far too long and a vital initiative whose time has come ¾ and not a moment too soon.

The proper care and protection of stamps has to be of utmost concern to all collectors. It should resonate within our hearts like motherhood and apple pie.

Unfortunately, abuse remains rampant. Innocent and defenseless stamps continue to be victimized with reckless abandon.

I don’t know about you, but I just can’t continue to stand by and let it happen.

Anglo-Irish statesman Sir Edmund Burke (1729-1797) has been traditionally attributed with the quote, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men (and women) do nothing.”

Personally, apathy is not something I want written on my epitaph.

But I need your help. Together we have to raise a strong and powerful voice, an organization with “teeth” that can advocate for and actually implement change. What we need is the creation of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Stamps (SPCS).

Much like its cousin, the SPCA, the object is to ultimately spawn an extensive global network of local and national chapters. Yet as Canadians, we can be proud to say that it all started right here.

The agenda of the SPCS will be exhaustive. But for starters, let’s look at some key battlegrounds and perhaps even suggest a few tactics and solutions.

Cancelling The Pen Cancel

That little pen that mail sorters and letter carriers wield can indeed be mightier than the sword. With one fowl swoop, an entire row of stamps on an envelope can be rendered virtually worthless.

Of all people, postal workers should be among the biggest advocates for stamps. After all, these stamps have been created with utmost care and attention by the post office. So to see them desecrated by other members of the Canada Post family is repugnant.

In some countries, it is a crime to treat the flag an unworthy manner. Likewise, the desecration of stamps should be outlawed. I’m not suggesting that offenders be subjected to the kind of extreme punishments that we see exhibited in certain parts of the world, like cutting off a person’s hands. Yet at the very least repeat offenders should be given the pink slip.

Freedom From Bondage

What the pen cancel is to used stamps, the hinge is to mint stamps.

A vigorous campaign of emancipation is required to free stamps from the bondage of hinges. I recognize that throughout history countless stamps have been irreparably marred for life by the use of hinges. But we need to do all that we can to prevent more stamps from falling to this fate.

damage from hinging stamp

To even affix hinges on used stamps is an archaic practice that can leave unsightly hinge remnants and potentially cause permanent damage. There is no real justification for their use in our modern era where plastic stamp mounts are so readily available.

So the only sensible solution is to bring in outright prohibition where the manufacture and sale of hinges is strictly forbidden. Those who violate this statute should be treated no differently than purveyors of other banned substances such as weapons of mass destruction and mind-altering, recreational drugs.

Say No To Acid

Much progress has been made in introducing acid-free papers and plastics for the storage and preservation of stamps. If you think that acid can’t be that bad for stamps, then just pour some into the tub the next time you take a bath. That will change your way of thinking rather quickly.

For stamps, however, the affect of the acid is much more long term. Prolonged exposure to even low acid concentrations will cause gradual discoloration over time. But by the time you notice it, the damage will already be done and it will be impossible to reverse it.

Widespread education is probably the best course of action to keep stamps away from acids, glues, tapes, self-adhesive and waxed photo albums, and other silly and harmful techniques for housing a collection.

The shoreline of Oahu, Hawaii

Environmental Refuges

Hawaii is often referred to as paradise. But for stamps, it can be hell. The warm, humid climate can be like a death sentence to stamps, causing them to stick together and become infested with mold.

Many people in such tropical climates have resigned themselves to only collecting used stamps. Yet even stamps without gum can be susceptible to mildew and foxing.

An example of how "foxing" changes the color of a stamp.

In contrast, the dry, cool climate of Calgary is just about ideal for stamps. So if you live in an area that’s unkind to your stamps and you truly have their best interests in mind, consider sending them to an environmental refuge. I, for one, would be more than happy to provide a friendly, inviting home for your collection. Of course, I’m just thinking of the wellbeing of the stamps when I make this generous offer.

Endangered Species

With the advent of email, epost and other advances in communication, some would argue that the traditional mail system could go the way of the dinosaur. Conversely, the move towards online shopping is putting an increased demand on home delivery.

Yet large-scale commercial mailing operations have long forsaken the postage stamp in favor of metered mail. And so the fear is that the postage stamp may actually be teetering on the verge of extinction.

Perhaps here innovation, or dare I say the evolution of the postage stamp, may be necessary to preserve it’s existence. Canada Post could team up with a company like Pitney Bowes in the production of high-quality, adjustable-rate stamps. In Europe, there’s already been a move towards more attractive, stamp-like postal labels. With the aid of current technology, we could see this advanced to a whole new level.

All About The Stamps

In short, the SPCS will be facing some daunting challenges. But whatever trials lie ahead, the object of the society will be to tirelessly advance the selfless cause of protecting those that cannot protect themselves. It’s really all about the stamps.

It's The End of the World As We Know It...

...and I feel fine!
If you like REM, listen to Michael Stipe's rant in this classic song here.

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." ~ Charles Schultz.

"If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later." ~ Mark Twain.

It's after 6 pm on May 21, 2011 in Australia and, more importantly, in Jerusalem. By now the world will realize Harold Camping was wrong. The only people who will be totally surprised by this, will be his devoted followers. It's sad, really, that people can be so easily misled. The 89-year-old leader of the Christian Family Radio Network from Oakland California has predicted the return of Christ in 1994 as well. And, uh, obviously it didn't happen then either...

People have been predicting the return of Christ for 2000 years, ever since Jesus himself told his disciples (and all those who believed in him) He would come back.

In Matthew 24:36 Jesus talks about His own return and says, "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angles in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." And again in Luke 12:40, Jesus tells his disciples, "You must be ready because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

So according to the Bible, Camping could never be right. As a self-professed Bible-believing Christian, you'd think Camping would know better, but each religion has its lunatic fringe. Unfortunately for Christianity, these fools gain massive publicity and the world begins to equate them with true Christianity, when nothing could be farther from the truth.

Will Graham, the grandson of respected evangelist Billy Graham, said, "Whether you stand before God on May 21st, or whether you stand before him 50 years from now, is irrelevant in the scope of eternity. The important thing isn't WHEN you stand before God; it's WHERE you stand with God."

In 1994, when Camping first predicted the return of Christ sometime between September 5-27, at least then he said he didn't know the exact date, but he has become less Bible-literate since.

Surprisingly, his loyal followers have continued to grow. With 66 radio stations in the USA alone and assets totaling about $160 million, these deep pockets have allowed him to place over 2000 billboards with slogans proclaiming, "Blow the Trumpet! Warn the people!"

Camping said when he made his previous prediction in 1994, "there was a lot of the Bible I had not really researched very carefully." But now, with many years of added study, Camping claims to have developed a system of mathematics that can be used to interpret Bible prophecies.

He proclaimed the return of Christ on May 21 because that will be 722,500 days from April 1 (AD33), which he believes was the day of the Crucifixion. The figure of 722,500 is important because it comes from the multiplication of three holy numbers (five, 10 and 17) together twice.

"When I found this out, I tell you, it blew my mind," Camping said.
Hmmm, I'm sure it did!

Mr Camping's argument has convinced Adam Larsen, 32, from Kansas, as well as scores of "ambassadors" to quit their jobs and drive around America in Family Radio vehicles warning of the impending apocalypse. "My favorite pastime is raccoon hunting," Mr Larsen told CNN. "I've had to give that up. But this task is far more important."

I hope Mr. Larsen can get back to 'coon hunting soon and that Camping will help him find new work or pay him for his troubles.

Many followers of Christ, who witnessed His death and saw Him after the Resurrection, believed He would come back to earth again before they died. Christians (and people from other religions) have been predicting the day Christ will return to gather up His followers (The Rapture) or the end of the world (Armageddon) ever since. Here are a few of the highlights:

• In 90 AD, St. Clement I predicted the world would end at any moment.
• The antipope Hippolytus and an earlier Christian academic Sextus Julius Africanus had predicted Armageddon at about 500 AD.
• January 1, 1000 - As this date approached, Christian armies waged war against some of the Pagan countries in Northern Europe hoping to convert them all to Christianity, by force if necessary, before Christ returned.
• 1284 - Pope Innocent III computed this date by adding 666 years onto the date the Islam was founded.
• 1346 and onwards - The black plague spread across Europe, killing one third of the population. This was seen as the prelude to the end of the world. But before the plague started, the Christians had killed many of the cats, fearing that they might be 'working' with the witches of that day. The fewer the cats, the more the rats. It was the rat fleas that spread the black plague.
• 1669 - The Old Believers in Russia believed that the end of the world would occur in this year. About 20,000 people burned themselves to death between 1669 and 1690 to protect themselves from the Antichrist.
• March 21, 1843 - William Miller, founder of the Millerite movement, predicted that Jesus would come on this date. A large number of Christians accepted his prophecy. When Jesus did not return, Miller predicted He would return on October 22, 1844. In an event which is now called "The Great Disappointment," many Christians sold their property and possessions, quit their jobs and prepared themselves for the second coming.
• On Valentine's Day in 1835, Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon church, announced that Jesus would return within 56 years - before February 15,1891.
• 1919 - Meteorologist Albert Porta predicted that the conjunction of 6 planets would generate a magnetic current that would cause the sun to explode and engulf the earth on December 17.
• 1959 - Florence Houteff, leader of the Branch Davidians at the time, prophesied that the Kingdom of David would be established on April 22, 1959. Followers expected to die, be resurrected and transferred to heaven. Many sold their possessions and moved to Mt. Carmel in anticipation of this "end time." When it didn't happen the group almost died with only a few dozen members remaining. Sadly most Branch Davidians did die on April, 29, 1993, as a result of arson ordered by their leader David Koresh.

• 1988 - This was a huge year for end times prophecy. First of all, in his book The Late Great Planet Earth, Hal Lindsey predicted the Rapture could be coming in this year as it was one generation or 40 years after the creation of the state of Israel.
• October 11, 1988 - Edgar Whisenaut, a NASA scientist, had published the book, 88 Reasons why the Rapture will Occur in 1988. It sold over 4 million copies (I have mine collecting dust on the bookshelf) and made Whisenaut a millionaire.
• January 1, 2000 - Thomas Chase (among others) predicted that the Y2K bug would cause a worldwide electrical failure, trigger a world economic depression and bring on the Antichrist.

Looking ahead, Harold Camping has already said that after the Rapture occurs on May 21, 2011, God will destroy the world four months later on October 21.

The truth about the Mayan Calendar.

 If this doesn't happen, 2012 has garnered hundreds of end times prophecy predictions. Not only does the Mayan Calendar come to an end in December 2012, but the winter solstice sun will appear to rise into a patch of sky known as the galactic center - the location of a super-massive black hole at the center of rotation for the Milky Way galaxy. Various people have predicted that this will cause a reversal in the sun's magnetic field inducing a reversal in the earth's magnetic field. This would result in wildly fluctuating temperatures and massive earthquakes. Other's have predicted a comet would crash into the earth.

It's hard to know if these people really believe their predictions or if it's merely fear mongering. Whatever comes to pass, one thing we do know to be 100% true, is that the end is nigh for each of us. Death is a greater certainty than taxes. All of us are destined to leave this mortal coil at some point. Are we ready for the end of our own life? The question really should be, as Will Graham said, where do we stand with God?

"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important." ~ C.S. Lewis

Why Married Sex is the Best Sex!

Do you want to live a long life? Would you like to beat the odds against colds, the flu and even more deadly diseases like cancer? Do you want financial stability? The magic answer is to get married. Happily married, that is.

There have been hundreds of studies that have shown married couples live longer. Married men especially! So guys, even though the single life offered you more freedom, it could kill you 10 years earlier. Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. But married women don't fare quite as well - their mortality rates are only 50% lower than single women. Hmmm, must be all that stress from cleaning up after their spouse...

Single people also spend longer in the hospital and have a greater chance of dying after surgery. It seems obvious that if you're married (happily married - where neither spouse is plotting against the other) you can take care of each other, but there are intangible reasons for these statistics too that also apply to sex.

Just take a look at all the benefits of sex - if you're married, that is!

• lower mortality rates.
• reduced risk of prostate cancer.
• better bladder control (for some elderly people, say over 60, this is seriously important!)
• induces deeper, prolonged sleep (it's like a sleeping pill for guys)
• increases memory capacity (works better for gals than guys, as men still forget birthdays and anniversaries)
• improves fitness and posture.
• firms tummy and buttocks.
• helps weight loss (200 calories burned in 30 minutes)
• it's a natural form of pain relief (speaking in general terms only)
• makes your teeth healthier (???)
• improves digestion.
• accentuates sense of smell...(hmmm....)

You would think that two people who are living together would have all these benefits too, but that's just not the case. Research shows that cohabiting couples are less likely to be sexually faithful. So their rates of STD's and other diseases skyrockets. And because they know their relationship could end at any time, they tend to 'not speak out' about unhealthy behaviors like a spouse would (read: 'nag' here). They also don't have the same level of trust with each other that committed married people do.

Apparently married people have sex more frequently too (40% partake in this recreational activity twice a week compared to 20-25% of singles). And they reportedly enjoy it more than singles as well.

So why not just do it? Go get married! It seems like marriage is THE best choice for health and happiness, but these statistics only tell one side of the story. Data in Canada, based on the 2006 census, show that about 4 out of 10 first marriages end in divorce. This rate is much higher for second and third marriages. The USA has the highest divorce rate in the world, with close to 50% of all first marriages failing.

So which people are most likely to divorce? Children of divorced parents have a 4x greater chance of divorcing than those from intact families. Divorce rates are also 50% higher for people who live together before marrying.  

Obviously marriage isn't the fairytale romance most young girls dream about. So many people think that when you're in love, you're always going to be in love and nothing will change that...right? Well girls, how about when your hubby misses the laundry basket, and his used underwear lies in a heap on the floor? At first you might forgive him for not making the basketball team, but what do you do when he misses the basket for the 100th time? The 1000th? It's great that he loves to cook but isn't it incredible that he uses every pot and dish in the house? And he doesn't like washing dishes!! What about when he complains that you have put the toilet paper on the WRONG way again (even though in your family you did it the RIGHT way)? Where's your promise to love, honor and cherish until death do us part now? I know, you're plotting his demise...

And guys, why do you complain about the virtual tropical paradise in your house when your wife cranks the thermostat as high as it will go? Don't you miss Hawaii? And so what if the toothpaste tube is squeezed from the middle out. By the way, you and your wife DO kiss, so why do you rant when she uses your toothbrush? And then there's her creative architectural feats, as the dishes are piled to new heights in the drying rack. Isn't this something to be admired and extolled?

It's the little things that can easily get to you. Not the first day or the first year or even the first decade. But they can drive you batty - if you let them. Then there are often deeper issues that arise. Marriage can be frustrating and this can all too easily foul things up in the bedroom.

Dealing with these issues is not a simple task. Many people carry a lot of baggage into a marriage so there are no easy answers, but for me, one of the most important things was having realistic expectations of what living day-by-day with another person really looked like.

I lived with two married couples before I tied the knot and that was an eye-opener. Not that these marriages were really bad, it just made me recognize a number of things I did NOT want to do when I married.

When Peter and I became engaged, I went to my pastor for some premarital materials. He was in the middle of a really difficult marriage and openly shared many of the problems he was experiencing. His most valuable advice added several points to my list of "DON'TS." The two most important were:

•  Never speak harmful words in anger (or at any time for any reason). Words can never be taken back and it's too easy to let them fly when you want to inflict damage on your partner. You can create life-long wounds in the person you love most, wounds that will never heal.

• Don't use sex as a tool to manipulate your spouse. (This is mainly for women as they, more often than men, choose to withhold sex using it as a weapon of control, a bribe or a way to vent their anger). This leaves men feeling rejected, unattractive and undesirable. If it carries on long enough, wives are effectively driving their husbands into the arms of someone else who will love and accept them for who they are.

Before Peter and I married, we made a choice to NOT harm each other by spoken words or our actions. I vowed to never try to manipulate my mate by withholding sex from him. Making these decisions ahead of time, and sticking to them in tough times, has made all the difference.

What decisions have you made that have helped you in your marriage? Any that hindered you? If you're not married, what do you expect of your future spouse?

I'll be back on Saturday with: It's The End Of The World As We Know It (and i feel fine)! Hope you're feeling fine too!

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.

"Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation." ~ Saint Augustine.

I've heard so many women say that their wedding day was THE most important day of their life. I totally disagree. Don't get me wrong, marrying the man of your dreams is a truly epic moment. But for me, believing in him and continually encouraging his dreams to come true was the real test of our day-to-day relationship. As well as the on-going battle of trying to NOT get bent out of shape when he put the toilet paper on the WRONG way...

See, choosing a lifelong partner is one of THE most important decisions anyone ever makes - but you don't know how your choice will stand up until you come face-to-face with "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health." After five or six years of struggling, you could really want "till death do us part" to come true - and not to you!

For me, the decisions I made BEFORE our wedding day were more important than that day itself. You see, both my husband and I were part of an almost extinct ideology - we had been sexually abstinent until our wedding night. I know, shock and awe - it wasn't all that common in my generation. There were opportunities for both of us to lose our virginity, but after 20 years of marriage, we both feel this is one of the best decisions we ever made! There is a level of trust between Peter and I that would have been a struggle to attain had either one of us given in.

What's fascinating is that in the last decade, virginity has come back into vogue for the first time since the late 1950s. Now 73 % of teens say it's not embarrassing to admit they are virgins.
A few months ago statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control stated that almost a third of all 15-24 year-olds had never had ANY sort of sexual contact with another person. This is in stark contrast to a decade ago where four out of every five people would have sex during their teenage years.

Despite this decline, the US teen pregnancy rate continues to be one of the highest in the developed world at 72 pregnancies for 1000 girls ages 15-19 (as of 2006). This is more than twice as high as Canada (with 28/1000 girls aged 15-19).

Now not all of these pregnancies are unwanted, but the majority of them are. What's really encouraging in spite of this, is that most of these teen "moms" are choosing to keep their babies. Abortion rates around the world have been declining, most notably in countries where abortion is legal, according to a study by the Guttmacher Institute. They estimate there are 3 million less abortions now than there were in 1995.

When teenagers themselves are asked why they are choosing abstinence, they have said:

• to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.
• to avoid unplanned pregnancies.

• so they won't get a bad reputation.
• so they will avoid the emotional consequences of sex, like feeling hurt, used and lonely, especially if the relationship doesn't work out.
• they've heard that couples who wait to have sex have healthier, more trusting relationships.
• they're less likely to divorce.
• abstinence doesn't cost any money (unlike other forms of birth control) and has no side effects.
• for moral or religious reasons.

I've had friends who didn't wait, and have seen them go through the emotional turmoil of a relationship that didn't work out and the consequences of an unplanned pregnancy. During candid conversations with the friends that chose to have an abortion - each one of them vehemently regretted that decision. For some, it has changed the course of their whole life.

Seeing a few of my friends go through such an intense emotional crisis, that they were not ready to deal with, increased my resolve to wait. I am ever thankful I did.

I'll be back on Monday with another blog in this series - Why Married Sex is the Best Sex!