Sunday, November 14, 2010


It happens. Whether you want it to or not. Change is something you can control or it can be a runaway train, taking you on a frightening ride with no guarantees as to how it will end.

Right now, I just want to look at the change we have control over. Specifically changing ourselves and our character. As I'm working on my novel, this is one of the essential aspects of the main characters. Do they choose change as a result of the circumstances around them? Are they so set in their way they will never change?

When I was in Grade 7, I decided to re-invent myself. Have you ever done this? Looked at who you were and decided you could be better - way better? Well, I had been in the same clique of girls from Grade 1. We did everything together and were bound by a mutual love of academics and athletics. But I was a follower. Two of the girls made ALL the decisions for the group and I was tired of it. So one recess, while we were outside "taking orders" for our activities that day, I stood up and outlined a plan for what I decided I would do during recess and lunch. Everyone was silent. The two girls looked at each other, a bit jaw-droppingly stunned. Then they shrugged, turned to me and one said, "That sounds great. Let's do that instead." And THEY followed ME.

That moment changed the course of my life. I realized that if you have enough self-confidence to risk rejection and are willing to go it alone if need be, people will follow you. But more than that, I began to like the person I was becoming. I decided to change many of my characteristics that year and it was one of the best years of my life. Going from 12 to 13 for a girl can be pretty traumatic. For me, it was transformational. I started to like just being with myself. I set personal goals, to try to understand the essence of truth, knowledge, love... I took a keen interest in others and started my life-long passion of trying to find out what makes people tick (my God-complex :). I was no longer afraid to say "No!" to my peers when I didn't want to do something, no matter how influential the group was. This saved me from alot of trouble later on.

Have you ever deliberately decided to change yourself? Or to change your focus in life? What has been the most dramatic change that you have had control over?


  1. I didn't actually learn this til my early 20's. Wish I would have been your age. I remember being tired of not having friends that were into the things that I was like music, film, different ministries that were outside of what we had only learned in our church of one focus. I started doing them by myself until I met a group of people within those activities that were like minded in to what I wanted to grow in. Going to movies alone I thought was for social dorks but I loved it. I didn't have to worry about if the person I was with like the film or not but could judge the work for myself. It was liberating and very much increased my hope for what I could be. Thank you for the reminder on this. Going it alone can be scary but it's in fear that we live and find liberty. I just have to go it alone on things that are eternal and pray that taking that step through fear will take me where God has his hand. Did I mention that I really like you doris? Well I do!

  2. Ahhh, Brandon, you've just given me another reason why I so love the person you are. In all your intensity and passion for film, music, acting, art, and God, you strike out on your own and develop your own perspective. Your opinions become unique and intriguing because of that. They reflect your own thoughts, not the views of the masses. You are a self-confident, caring, leader too. Gosh, no wonder we can talk for hours straight! So glad you are part of "the family." Thanks for your comments.

  3. Okay Doris. Time for another change. That picture of you on the front of the blog in Lewis' Stamps jersey has got to go. And since my Riders won tonight - look out Stamps. Wont to waiger?

    As for change, we should all go through change. I feel like I transform myself every 3-5 years. Sometimes makes me wonder if I still know who I am. But none the less, it keeps things fresh, and new, and usually heading in a positive direction.

  4. Methodius, you are my role model for adapting to change well. You seem to do it so easily, even though I know it's not. Plus you have re-invented yourself more times than most people change their...uhmmm...socks. I admire you for your on-going character transformation.

    As for wagers, you haven't "cashed in" on the last one - that you won! That was three years ago!! Remember that pictures will change, but the heart and soul of a woman 'sports-warrior' will NEVER change.

  5. I like this new picture on your blog. Haven't seen it before.

  6. Wow... that's great. I wish I had learned that earlier too. I lived as a victim of my circumstances as a child and well into my adult years. Like a lot of kids, I sooo wanted to be accepted. But the last number of years I have been 're-inventing' myself... or rather re-discovering who I really am and giving that person room to 'be'. Life is a lot more interesting and fun when you come from other people's shadows!!

  7. Eddie - I took this photo of the canoes at Lake Louise at dusk, almost in complete darkness. It was necessary to use my tripod so the long exposure would work.

    Joy - It has been so much fun to watch you emerge from your cocoon over the last few years. You are on the road to re-discovering who you are and I've enjoyed the witty, wonderful woman that has emerged!

  8. Actually, I was referring to the school picture of you...